Two good, clean jokes

One day at recess, Ms. Smith cathces bobby making faces at some of the other children. She pulls him aside and says, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, my face would be stuck that way." Bobby looks up at her and says, "Well, you can't say you weren't warned."

Jon is driving down Highway 208 talking on his phone one day, when he gets a call from his wife on the other line. When he answers the call, she says "Jon, I just saw on the news that there's some crazy person driving down Highway 208 the wrong way. Please be careful!" Jon replies, "Honey, the news report was wrong. There's not one person driving the wrong way, there's hundreds!"